This is a post about headphones, so pop in those ear-buds and do some desk-dancing to Little Boots’ new video for Headphones.
I’ve been considering buying new headphones to use at work. I can’t buy just any old pair of headphones. I work at a trendy marketing firm that does modern Internet stuff, so my new headphones need to be colorful, attention-grabbing, “look at what free spirits we are in this office” headphones. I’ve been doing some research, and I’ve narrowed it down to four of my favorites, but in the end, there can only be one.
It’s kind of like choosing a spouse, in that the entire decision is based on sexiness and how much noise they make.
The Comic Book Headphones
I’m a big Marvel Comics nerd, so these appealed to childhood nostalgia and (current) obsessions. AVENGERS ASSEMBLE Y’ALL.
But then I would be the guy with nerd headphones. Nobody’s gettin’ laid with comic book superheroes having an orgy on their ears.
The Green & Brown Headphones
Green is my favorite color, so these instantly caught my eye. They kind of have this antique radio look to them that I’m really digging, but also makes me assume these headphones will smell like cigarettes. My brain is messed up, you guys.
The Union Jack Headphones
Another set with green, but these have a little more pop and pattern to them. These would be a great fit for me, considering the majority of my music comes from that cloudy island full of people who talk funny and have bad teeth, or whatever the hell it is we say to stereotype Great Britain now.
I mean obviously I would prefer rainbow-Confederate-flag headphones, but apparently those don’t exist.
The Orange Headphones
Orange, yellow, and white stripes. These look like they would be pretty cozy over my ear holes, but I’m not sure if I’m into them enough.
Which headphones will I choose?
I wish this was like The Bachelor and I could just choose based on which one is prettiest and will increase my faux-fame by starting drama to boost ratings.
Decisions are hard.