Life and Liquor

I was having a crisis.

My Twitter name felt too long. It felt boring and lackluster and blah. I needed something short, to the point, and hilarious in a way that would make some people laugh and other people say “What the fuck is he serious with that shit?”

My roommate suggested @TequilaMockingbird, but it was too long for the minimalist fascists at Twitter. @HypodermicBeetle was also too long. Buzzkill.

Some of the names I considered were free, but didn’t make the cut. Those of you considering a rebranding or identity-switch better hurry to Twitter and claim these gems while you can:

@ThrobHope
@FatBeaches
@MiddleSpoon
@NotJustinHoffman

I’ve decided on @GlitterDunn.

The South will rise again… and it will be fabulous.

I hope it properly advertises my expertise on redneck glamor, bourbon chic, and gay debauchery.

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I Changed My Twitter Name Y’all

Aside

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